Sunday, September 22, 2013

How to Have a Wedding at St. Peter's

A step-by-step guide

1. If you can afford a wedding planner, the Vatican totally suggests Regency to help you organize and coordinate. Apparently, they've done this so many times that they know the little details and rules about having your service here.

2. If you're not so fortunate, keep reading for the rules.

3. The wedding will be held in the Cappella del Coro (Choir Chapel) located in St. Peter's Basilica half way on the left-hand side of the nave.

4. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays are the only days you can have your wedding.

5. And only at 10:30AM.

6. Chapel seats 100 and 100 can stand around. So, 100 + 100 = 200 maximum guests + a free game of musical chairs!

7. If you're not already associated with a church in your area, now would be the time to do it. It is required that a priest send in a letter showing his consent of the couple's marriage and explicitly requests that they be married in Saint Peter's. Because, go big or go home, amirite?

8. Gotta make a reservation with the church.

9. Also, gotta buy the church's music, flowers, and decorations. Exceptions may be made for the bridal bouquet which is purchased from your handy wedding planner, Regency.

10. But you can pick your own photographer!...If he/she can somehow get authorization from St. Peter's (obviously it means you have to go up to St. Peter himself and ask him politely).

11. You have to request to take photographs at your own wedding. At least 10 days prior.

12. Did I mention that you can only have an organ and tenor vocalist at your wedding as far as music is concerned? And you can't be jamming out to the Bee Gees while your there. No matter how tempted the vocalist would be to belt out to "Stayin' Alive".

13. There's also the question of payment. It has to be made a month prior to the wedding and you have to sit down with St. Peter to iron out the details of the pricing. Hope you've been racking up those karma points!

14. They don't give the exact amount on their website, but if you have to ask how much it is, you probably can't afford it anyways.

15. Happen that you can do all of the above, your future husband then has to prove his love by doing the following:

  1. Ninja into St. Peter's Basilica after hours
  2. Remove the sword from the stone which reanimates the lost city of Camelot.
  3. And slay the dragon in your name behind the treasure chamber doors, one floor down, and two doors to the left.
The last part was a joke. And despite all the meticulous details that the church had specify, you still get an awesome gloating opportunity when it comes to your wedding at St. Peter's. Props to anyone who actually went through the entire process. Seriously, though.


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